january 29th

i'm not feeling really well these days. i mean, a lot of things happened, and it's been only a month since 2012 started.
i got 6 days off from school; 3 of them i was sick. had some pretty rough fights with some people. shed some tears, lack of laugh. spent a lot of money; not even on me, but i had quite a joyous time spending it. had a few panic attacks. missed my art assignment, but made it to my mandarin project :)
skipped 2 hours of class for the first time...and got busted. (kind of) lost a best friend. made the captain of the dance team. principal made me one of the school's mc's.
oh and one more thing, not like it's important....i turned 17. yeah, i'm 17. got a surprise from my boy and also friends. got a lot of cake facial. finished reading eat pray love, and currently craving for more books.
and still, a lot of things to get done before january ends. don't even have the strength to fill my ipod with new songs. got on the computer only to work on an assignment, 10 minutes of tumblr, 10 minutes of typing this, and then i'm out. so...i'm out. bye. tomorrow's the thirtieth, by the way. which means......14 months, i guess?

I adore your words, kak

Tak apa terluka sebelanga, katanya
Asal cinta tak lepas dari genggamnya
..Lagi. Sudah cukup tempo kali.

—Michelle Vinca

this jealousy thing.

i just don't get the people who get mad at their lover for getting them jealous.
i mean, doesn't that only drift your lover away from you?
i get jealous too, you know. kind of a lot.
but when i do, i think of the ways so i can be better than that other person. so he can look at me and think that he has me, and that's more than enough.

the deaf world...

...still can't hear me cry.

yeah, i start 2012 with tears, got a problem with that?

november 30th, 2010 - present

so i know that it's been a while, but i haven't got the opportunity to type here.
okay.

happy 1st anniversary, mister. bear. sharkie. polar bear. hot delivery. bregas. kidiw. brad pitt. jerm. okay, i can't remember another names i've given to you anymore.
thank you. thank you. thank you. that's all i can say. well actually, i've said almost everything i want to say in the letter i wrote you, so....yeah.

happy 1st anniversary. 12 months, huh? it's been a roller-coaster ride, if you ask me.
but just like a roller-coaster ride,
though sometimes you're scared, you scream your lungs out, you pray for help, and you think you're going to die
in the end, it was your choice to go on the ride, and the euphoria can sure make you laugh.

so who cares if sometimes, i hate you to the moon and back? who cares if i've cursed your name a thousand times? who cares about how many moments that made me swore to God that i'm gonna make you cry?
you do? well, don't.
because i love you far beyond all those things.

and i know that i can be such an annoying bitch sometimes. well maybe most of the time. and sorry for being so insensitive. and selfish. and everything. sorry.


i'm not asking you to be a perfect classy gentleman, who takes me to a candle light dinner or something. i'm not asking you to sing me a song through the phone every night till i'm asleep. i'm not asking you to be anything.
what i'm asking is
please, don't get tired of me. ever.
and please don't wake up the next morning and thinking that you've had enough of me.
at least, not anytime soon.

so
i can't see what the future brings
but right now,

this is us, standing on the top of the world.
let's make it last forever.

xxx.

wondering which version of you i might get tonight.

so this is really getting on my nerves. like, seriously.
you want a game? i can do games.
but when you lose, accept it like a gentleman and come back to me.

panic attack.

is it me, or is the world just deaf?

i've been wondering lately.
why can't people hear me cry?

entah apa yang salah sama kita.

tapi,
mau benar atau salah

"kita" tetap "kita".

Bukan sekarang

Ada banyak yang bisa lewat antara kita dan selamanya.
Jarak, misalnya.
Dengan pohon-pohon, rumput, dan bermacam-macam orang yang ada di antaranya.

Atau sifat
Waktu
Teknologi
Banyak.

Tapi
Aku tidak mau mereka lewat sekarang